Is divorce mediation counseling to reconcile the marriage?
No. In Connecticut where one spouse wants a divorce the court is required to grant the divorce. Divorce mediation is a way to work through the divorce process – it is not a tool to convince a spouse who wants a divorce that they must work toward reconciliation. That is not to say that the mediation process cannot help each couple clarify their goals and decisions regarding divorce or reconciliation. It is not the role of the mediators to convince parties to either divorce or to reconcile.

When should I begin Mediation?
One of the most difficult times in a marriage occurs when one or both parties have made the decision to divorce or separate, or when they begin to question whether they should divorce. Since there are no ground rules to tell couples how to act in that situation, each spouse become frightened of what the other spouse intends to do financially and with regard to the children.

The best time to begin mediation is while you are thinking about divorce or have just made the decision to separate or divorce, so that as a couple you can agree on basic ground rules to put some structure to the new chaos and lessen fear and anger so that simple events don’t get blown out of proportion, causing costly legal fees and a further damaged relationship.

Why two professionals?
Every dispute between two people can have many layers of conflict. We make many decisions for emotional reasons and reasons we don’t completely understand. Many of the issues that couples need to resolve during the divorce process carry very powerful negative emotions that interfere with meaningful discussion.

The experienced co-mediation team benefits the process by providing the special expertise of two disciplines to help prevent the conflict from interfering with the work that needs to be done. A male/female mediation team provides the comfort of gender balance, and reassurance that the different perspectives will be heard and understood. Two brains, two disciplines and two genders are more efficient than one and help move the mediation process along efficiently and more quickly.

In the mediation process the attorney/mediator acts only as a mediator and neither represents either party, nor provides legal advice.

The psychologist/mediator acts only as a mediator and is neither representing either party, nor providing therapy.